The Joy of spending yourself
WRITTEN BY CONNOR MCGETTIGAN
“Amazing grace how sweet the sound…”
As I reflect on my life and consider how God, as the Grand Weaver, wove me as one tiny, weak, little thread into the beautiful masterpiece of the tapestry of Casa Bernabé, I cannot help but be awestruck at his amazing grace in my life as well as the lives of thousands of others who have had the privilege to know and be a part of the story of Casa Bernabé. A story, that in truth, has been since its inception, a story of God’s providential love for his people and those so dear to his heart, vulnerable children and “orphans in distress”. To them it has been so much more than the story of a “ministry”. To countless vulnerable children of Guatemala, Casa Bernabé has been their story of being welcomed into a home and a family. For me, it is an overwhelming grace of God to be considered a part of that family.
I have now been back home in New Jersey for what will soon be five years after I lived down at Casa Bernabé for three years from January 2017 through November of 2019. While there, I lived in a house called Casa Samuel as an “apoyo” or “house support” along with the house parents, Rony and Yessenia. I also taught English in the school on the orphan grounds, El Colegio Cristiano Casa Bernabé. Like all staff at Casa Bernabé, I wore many hats and over time also had the privileges of leading worship and heading up the youth ministry.
Now, as I look back on how I came to know and arrive at Casa Bernabé, while I can clearly see how God worked through various steps and stages along the way throughout my life, what is fairly amusing to consider is how little I knew of what God was leading me to from the beginning.
Prior to moving down to Casa Bernabé, all I knew of the ministry was what I had seen from their online presence (much less at the time), what I had heard from a guy named James Jankowiak (one of the founders of Verbo Ministries), and a quick in-and-out weekend stay that I had the November before I moved down in January. Then, jumping forward through what felt like a simultaneous eternity of waiting and a flash of a December, I remember how on the eve of my departure I was filled with excitement, nerves, and mixed emotions about leaving the comfort of home, family, and friends to move down to Guatemala. I also remember how deeper than all of the hype and nerves, God continued to speak to me the rock-solid joy of his grace that made me alive in Christ and enabled me to walk out the good works that he had prepared in advance for me as his workmanship created in Christ Jesus (Eph. 2), and that truly, as I sought to work and serve it would not be me, but Christ in me (1 Corinthians 15).
With those and many more verses that God had been lodging in my heart, along with the inspiration of some great missionary biographies, and an upbringing in a missions and mercy-ministry-minded church and family I felt that I had been prepared for what God would lead me to. When I moved down on January 1st, 2017, I thought what God was leading me to was being the English teacher. That part was true. I had very little idea as to what else was to come.
Even though a handful of years have passed now, I can still remember very vividly (as I think I always will) those first days and weeks. It all began right away with the beginning of the year retreat for all of the Casa Bernabé staff. All of the preaching, teaching, worship, etc. that year and every other year was always such an encouraging and powerful way to start the New Year! Next was a lot of preparation for the beginning of school, getting to the kids and staff who were all a part of the Casa Bernabé family, and eventually introductions to the house parents, Rony and Yessenia Cifuentes, and the boys of the house that I would live in for the next three years – Casa Samuel.
I will never forget the first conversation that I had with Sarah Green and Yessenia as I was being introduced and hearing about how life in the house would be. With my palpable mixture of eagerness and nerves, willingness and naivete I got the run down from Yessenia, expressed my gratitude for their welcome into Casa Samuel, and did my best to learn the boys' names as quickly as I could. The Friday after that conversation, I moved up to Casa Samuel and by that evening I was on duty for my first weekend taking care of the house and the boys alone (every other weekend we would alternate between the Apoyo and the house parents taking care of the house and the boys).
That first weekend was quite a trial by fire for me: serving meals to the boys from the food cooked in the main building; delegating chores; making sure cleaning was done and cleaning with the boys; handling battling 12-year-olds and bed-wetting 6-year-olds; as someone with little to no childcare experience, I was pretty much hoping that I would make it to Sunday night with the same amount of boys in Casa Samuel that I started with on Friday evening.
Despite all of the stress and worry of that first weekend, it was an incredible time and I was so glad to be able to be trusted with the responsibility. In the times playing with boys, whether it was soccer or wandering through the woods, the goodness of forming those relationships always far outweighed any of the difficulties. When Rony and Yessenia got back that Sunday night after my first weekend, I gave my first huge thanks to God for being able to report that all was well, I got all eleven boys to church looking fairly decent, the house was tidy and clean, and all were safe and sound in their beds. Drained, having felt Paul’s words of “being poured out like a drink offering” more than I ever had before then, that Sunday night I also learned a new kind of gratitude to God for being utterly emptied to be filled by him.
I then began teaching English the following week to 12 grades. The grades that I taught at the school were separated into three levels: preschool (pre-kinder, prepa, kinder) Primario (grades 1-6), and Basicos (grades 7-9). The majority of the students came from the outside community, and the rest were the children and youth who lived right there at Casa Bernabé. After school, I would assist Rony and Yessenia with helping the boys with homework, or heading outside to play with the boys to keep them busy until dinner time. It was definitely a new kind of aggressive pace of a schedule for me, but despite the tiredness, I knew that God would sustain me with the strength that he supplied in order that he would be glorified (1 Pet 4:11).
When I wasn’t teaching or “on duty” with the kids I also experienced the whole “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart” thing with constant soccer - definitely a plus to serving in Latin America! Overall, in those first few months, I quickly experienced the profound blessing of ministry, whereby we are filled up to the brim with joy in God, while simultaneously being completely drained and poured out to be used by God in order to meet the needs of others. Many of you will know that ministry is exhausting on many levels on a daily basis, but what a joy it is to be exhausted for the sake of the kingdom of God! When God brings us into his family, he calls all of us to serve in some form or another just as Jesus came to serve and not be served. He calls us to lay down our lives just as Jesus laid down his life for us. Whether it be in Preschool ministry or Prison ministry, there is absolutely no greater joy than experiencing the infilling grace of God as you demonstrate the same sacrificial love for others that Christ demonstrated to us on the cross.
So, after wading through, and being knocked a bit by the early waves of “culture shock”, I became fairly accustomed to the rhythm of life at Casa Bernabé. My original roles as English teacher at the Casa Bernabé School and “el apoyo” (house support) up in Casa Samuel always remained the same, but eventually grew to being a part of the official worship team rotation every other week in our church as well as serving as a leader for our youth group that we had on Saturday nights for the kids ages 13 and up. Music ministry and youth group were such joy-filled additions to my schedule and I loved having the opportunities to get more involved in both. Over the years, I always continued teaching English, though not to preschool all the way through. My second year I also taught music to grades 6 - 9.
Throughout my time at Casa Bernabé, whether in the school or in Casa Samuel, I always felt the inextinguishable joy from the experiences that I was able to have through the relationships formed. That joy was the result of everything from the seemingly mundane times of wrestling or playing soccer with the boys and helping them with their homework to the deep spiritual fellowship and camaraderie among the staff. The unique pleasure that I got from living and taking care of the boys with Rony and Yessenia came from the fact that each and every boy had his own unique personality, sense of humor, strengths, weaknesses, and interests. I grew to love each one in different ways to capacities that I had not expected when I originally arrived.
That increasing love was yet another testament to God’s grace which increased my ability to love and serve in ways that I, as a lazy, self-centered person, otherwise would not have been able to love and serve. In Isaiah 64:8 we are compared to molded clay in the hands of the Great Potter, our Lord, and Father. Although it was also a joy to live and be a part of the ministry at Casa Bernabé, as a mere clump of clay, at times I felt the heavy pounding of God’s molding process by which he transforms a stone-hard, rebellious, waste of a clump into a loving and patient vessel of purpose for the glory of his name. It was difficult, but it was all good. In all of life and faith, there is glory to be seen when the going takes guts.
If you have not experienced the joy of spending yourself for the good of others I would challenge you with the certain fact that God is calling you to serve and love those that he has placed in your life. If you have experienced that joy, but are simply weary in your labor of love and feel your own brokenness in your efforts, I would like to encourage you with a combination of Galatians 6:9 and 1 Corinthians 15:58 to “…not grow weary of doing good…” for “your labor is not in vain.”
May the words of Nehemiah 8:10 be an empowering source for you as it was for me knowing that “the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
While at Casa Bernabé that joy of the Lord could come in many shapes and forms through times with the boys in Casa Samuel, the kids in Casa Bernabé as a whole, or students in the school. Some sources, among many, would be the mini-hikes in the woods, afternoons of soccer, and seeing real progress in students in my English classes. However, the greatest of the joy sources was, without a doubt, having a front-row seat to the children experiencing the love of Jesus.
In Psalm 68:5 we can read of God’s character as the protector of those who would otherwise be wrecked by the daily terrors that confront them: “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” There is an awe-inspiring fact about that that leaves me dumbstruck.
Although God doesn’t need to, he chooses to use us as vessels of his love and protection for those “fatherless” and “widows”.
It is because of that that I have felt an unshakeable burden for the ministry that goes on at Casa Bernabé - the ministry of protecting and caring for those who are so dear to God’s heart. Living there and being a part of the family at Casa Bernabé, which is a visible manifestation of Psalm 68, was a massively rewarding and humbling journey.
When I moved back home to New Jersey, the transition was fairly difficult for me. While I was thrilled to be back home with my family, after becoming so integrated into the family down at Casa Bernabé, I had a heavy, strange, kind of empty feeling not knowing how I could still contribute to the ministry and be a part of the Casa Bernabé family.
Now, having been home for a few years, I have learned from so many around the U.S. who have supported the ministry from abroad, exactly what it looks like to still be a part of the family of Casa Beranbé, which in reality is simply an extension of the family of God.
What I believe that I have learned from others is that my role (and all of our roles) from afar, is to yes, visit and serve when we can; but possibly more importantly than those quick visits is to be an “object” off of which the light of Casa Bernabé can refract and be seen by others. That the light of God’s love lived out by his people that I have seen and experienced at Casa Bernabé would shine through me. Then, as that light is seen by others, more would join in the cause to fight for justice for the most vulnerable of society, and we could all give glory to God for his heart for the “orphan in distress”.
I began by mentioning God’s amazing grace. I see no other way to close but to return to his grace. For almost forty years, God has sustained Casa Bernabé and redeemed and brought restoration to the lives of so many vulnerable children and families. God’s light is shining forth through the ministry of Casa Bernabé and, as a ministry, Casa Bernabé has grown and continues to have an ever-increasing impact for good on the surrounding community.
Casa Bernabé is one incredibly special place. It is a place where the words of the Lord's Prayer "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" become a reality. It is a place where God's heart for children that we can read of in his Word (Psalm 68:5; Matthew 19:14) is manifested in active love through his people. It is a place that I thank God for the impact that it has had on both my life and the lives of all who have come to know it. By his amazing grace, may God carry Casa Bernabé to an ever-brighter future for his glory and the good of his little ones.
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Have you experienced the joy of spending yourself for the good of others? As believers, this is a calling in our lives. Now, more than ever, we need you to answer the call to stand with us as we care for the vulnerable children and families at Casa Bernabé. God’s heart for children (Psalm 68:5; Matthew 19:14, Psalm 82:3) is made visible in us—the church, the body, the plan. To learn more about how you can partner with us, click here.
